If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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