I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
