17 year olds will be the death of me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
