at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They took my balls.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
