it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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