office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
