no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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