But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
