My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
