One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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