Porn is love you can see.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
