Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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