new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
