you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
