we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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