walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
