I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
