Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
