Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
