Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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