Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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