i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
