carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
