Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
