no, he came in my armpit
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
