If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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