i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
