your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
