halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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