It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
soo... how was my night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
