weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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