just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
