How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
