I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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