You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
