He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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