i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
