Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
