I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
