the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
