Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
