yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
