2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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