Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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