a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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