Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
