It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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