Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
high people should be assigned attendants
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize