Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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