I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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