I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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