summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
