Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
