Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
