yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
