So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize