I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
