it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
