Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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