Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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